November 2021 – Because the solar rose over Yosemite Valley and I paced the parking space above the Rostrum, I nervously waited for Sasha, her husband Erik Esterholm, and their canine Moose to point out up. I’d by no means met them however our mutual pal Ryan Sheridan linked us. Ryan knew I’d been climbing the North Face usually and knew she wished to do it.
I’d been frequenting the route as a coaching climb to regain my confidence on the rock. Shortly earlier than Brad Gobright died in 2019, he and I had finished the route, and I struggled. Beginning at midnight the day earlier than, we’d tried El Corazon on El Cap however bailed atop Freeblast as a result of it was too sizzling and I used to be too sluggish. As we retreated, Brad snagged my ATC and bolted. Now alone and rapping previous fastened strains, my Gri Gri wasn’t locking up, and I obtained terrified since I couldn’t cease myself whereas descending the crackling, splintering ropes. After just a few hours of relaxation, we headed to the North Face, and he informed me there have been bees at one of many rap anchors. He didn’t appear bothered by the true likelihood of getting stung. He carried a scant gear rack and ran it out bolder than I’d ever seen (and I’ve climbed El Cap with tremendous daring climbers, together with Leo Houlding.). Brad stitched pitches collectively into 80m stretchers, by no means pausing or hesitating.
After the Rostrum with Brad, whereas coated in sweat and stinking like a dirty males’s locker room, we met up with Alex Honnold for the premiere of Free Solo on the Yosemite Theater. As they chatted, I disappeared into the gang whereas individuals held their noses round me. That day is etched into my reminiscence, and immediately, after I climb the Rostrum, I take into consideration Brad. I miss him.
To work by means of my new concern of rappelling and regain my power and confidence on the rock, I began doing the Rostrum just a few instances per week. I chosen the rack meticulously, packed tremendous picnics, and led every pitch with a wide range of companions. As an alternative of shaving the rack down after every lap, I really introduced extra gear. Feeling secure made me climb higher; no have to run it out. I didn’t pack bars, however as an alternative, pie and cheese, fruit, nuts, and deli meats. From backside to prime, I wished everybody to be cozy. We listened to music from a tiny speaker, danced on the anchors, and hauled a bag filled with sizzling tea, cookies, ice-cold water, vitality gels, and many others. I joked that we have been doing the ABCs – All the time Be Snug.
Again to the day I met Sasha. She pulled up in a large black Escalade, with Erik driving and Moose and his monumental physique taking on the whole thing of the again seat. Sasha stepped out, and we walked in. As we chatted, she informed me her story – subjects coated within the movie Right here to Climb — which started together with her hip dysplasia surgical procedures in 2020. As we made our manner by means of the forest, downclimbed just a few uncovered sections of rock, and made a sequence of rappels, she went into element about her fears that after her surgical procedures, she would by no means climb laborious once more. I listened, and once we weren’t speaking, we loved Taylor Swift enjoying out of my tiny speaker.
I didn’t yell instructions out after main my pitches. I quietly despatched texts – “off belay, able to haul… belay on, climb when prepared.” I lent her my elbow sleeves so she wouldn’t get scraped up within the broad cracks. I shared secret beta, together with the place the knee bars have been, the place vital hidden foot holds have been, and how one can attain that jam that was simply out of attain. I aided strikes off the anchor till I obtained safe items in, as I didn’t need to threat falling on her. Once I climbed cruxes, together with sending the 5.11c fingers pitch, she rooted me on all the best way and cheered as I reached the anchor.
Towards the highest, proper earlier than the ultimate 5.11 crux, we paused on the anchor. She wiped a tiny streak of blood off her face, which she obtained from grazing her lower finger alongside her cheek whereas following the earlier pitch. As we munched on snacks, we talked about concern and her want to be a stronger trad climber. She may inform I felt in my ingredient, however she was not. Although nicely inside her skill – Sasha’s a world champion comp climber with sends as much as 5.14d — jamming cracks made her really feel like a newbie once more and she or he appreciated the problem and the way it humbled her.
She requested how I felt whereas locked off and putting gear. She questioned if I used to be terrified or calm. I defined that climbing cracks, particularly now that I’d rehearsed this route so many instances, was probably the most enjoyable feeling I may think about. When every part got here collectively, there was nothing that introduced me extra pleasure. I didn’t point out that every time I sat again on my ATC to rappel in, I needed to management my nerves and have religion that I’d attain the anchor beneath with out mishap.
Years later, once we headed up the fastened strains resulting in Coronary heart Ledges on El Cap, I shared that I needed to face my fears head-on right here. She was empathetic and mild with my emotions. All the things went easily regardless of moist ropes, stretchy strains, and awkward traverses. Glad the fastened strains have been new.
Again to that first day on the Rostrum, I watched her observe the final pitch and directed her when to go away the broad crack and discover the jugs on the face. We packed up the bag on prime because the solar crested over the Central Valley, made the ultimate rappel to achieve the notch and hiked out.
The next day, I flew to Tahiti to cowl a narrative for Males’s Journal about shark swimmer Denis Grosmaire and discover Makatea, an island rumored to have the very best climbing within the South Pacific. Whereas nursing a hangover, I requested Denis to cease the boat and if he may play some Manu Chao on his ukulele. He performed it completely as I obtained more and more extra sunburned. Right here, with the waters of the Pacific lapping towards the hull and me with a throbbing headache, we talked about concern. Denis and I sat in his dingy over a coral backyard as manta rays swam underfoot and he informed me how swimming with tiger sharks, and that hugging and kissing them was his manner of experiencing final leisure. We talked about Sasha and what she shared about concern whereas on the Rostrum. How I felt relaxed on a lead whereas putting gear, and the way she sought the identical feeling.
A month later, I returned to Makatea, this time with Sasha and her movie crew, to make an episode for her present No Days Off. Scenes from that journey make it into Right here to Climb.
I packed the snacks and comfortable Helinox chairs, she packed the attracts, and we even prolonged our journey to get the utmost climbing expertise. Since we have been on a distant island, one in every of 118 within the islands of Tahiti, we had little or no contact with the skin world and she or he may barely submit one social media replace a day. We climbed, bolted new routes, and talked; she referred to as it her greatest journey.
I introduced up my journal from the go to, which reads:
Dawn, February 27. The pink skies have lifted, changed by blue. It’s the primary morning of our journey to Makatea. Considering again to yesterday, many scenes come up. After flying from Tahiti to Rangiora, we taxied to matching energy boats and headed towards this island. For the primary hour, we paralleled each other as we traversed previous a hoop of atolls. As soon as land was out of view, we continued as storm clouds constructed up behind us.
My pals and Makatea locals greet us, together with Tapu, his spouse Nani, their daughter and his dad Julien Mai. Gone was the hand-painted COVID-19 signal I noticed final time, changed with a cheery ukulele enjoying Julien. Tapu filmed with a GoPro from his chest. Everybody waved to us, and I met Brette Harrington and Elliott Berhnagen, who Sasha had invited. Once I talked with Brette, she informed me that although we’d by no means met head to head, she remembered the numerous instances I’d referred to as her late companion Marc Andre Leclerc for tales and that each one that point, it felt like I used to be having a dialog with them of their front room.
A scene from Sasha climbing in Makatea is utilized in advertising and marketing materials for her movie. That makes me completely happy. This June, I watched a screener of Right here to Climb, and it was like revisiting each dialog I’d had together with her, however now it was on the massive display screen. The movie touched on selfishness in climbing, teamwork in huge wall climbing. It additionally included struggles with being a social media star and her physique picture, cyberbullying, criticisms of her ascents, security within the mountains, the dying of her group member, mentorship and affect, plus resilience and adaptation.
The movie made me revisit my relationship with climbing. I thought of how egocentric I’d been by focusing for many years on my objectives, my redpoint successes, and my willingness to focus solely on my tasks. I believed concerning the time I’d climbed the Salathé Wall on El Cap with Mike Schneiter and watched him cry whereas I sat there impassive as a result of he missed his daughter Selah, who was again in Camp 4. We had solely deliberate to be gone one night time, and right here we have been on Lengthy Ledge and spending night time two up there whereas just a few rope lengths from the highest. I wished to remain there and he wished to push to the summit. I believed our compromise labored – I climbed with him to the highest, waved goodbye and rapped again to Lengthy Ledge as he walked out alone.
I thought of how his spouse Pleasure later pulled me apart and informed me how egocentric I’d been all through the climb and the way I made all of it about me. I additionally thought concerning the time later, when writing about Selah turning into the youngest particular person to climb El Cap, and the tears of pleasure I skilled once they’d name me from the dressing room whereas in make-up earlier than occurring TV in entrance of thousands and thousands. Mike’s my favourite climbing companion and I’m grateful for him and Pleasure to assist me grow to be conscious of my shortcomings that have been getting in the best way of our friendship. I’m so glad they gave me criticism, time to replicate, and accepted my honest apologies for not contemplating their emotions.
Right here to Climb is Sasha’s story however watching it, I had all of the feels. I linked with every scene in my very own manner. The 119-minute movie by Crimson Bull Media Home that debuted on June 18, now streaming on HBO Max, summated every part we’d mentioned. Nothing was new to me, however I used to be happy with her for being so candid with the world. Pleased with my pal’s vulnerability in entrance of the digital camera. I thought of my talks with Erik over the cellphone and in particular person on the Curry pizza deck beneath the shadow of Half Dome.
“It’s a weak movie,” she texts. “I’m nervous about individuals’s notion of it. It makes me so relieved that you simply appreciated it!” Sasha all the time makes use of exclamation factors in her texts to point out her smile, and I all the time sort the smiling face emoticon as a result of that’s what the late Tom Frost all the time did when sending me handwritten letters.
I feel again to the textual content she despatched me after our final climbs in Yosemite this previous season and the way actually busy she is. “We flew again from Yosemite final night time as a result of the climate regarded unhealthy till the top of the weekend,” she writes. “I despatched my 5.14 mini challenge immediately earlier than my flight out tomorrow! It’s simple to say that Yosemite grades are laborious, however get you match!
“Been nearly three weeks on the street, and I’ve a day of conferences,” she provides when describing her movie tour and busy schedule. Greater than a professional athlete, Sasha can be the founding father of her vitamin bar firm Ship Bars, her movie firm Feminine Centered Adventures, and is a pro-social media influencer. Within the movie, Cedar Wright calls her the primary climber to grow to be Insta-Well-known.
She’s all the time on the transfer. Usually, I’ll get messages whereas she’s midflight someplace. Or she’ll message me from her house fitness center between units. Aside from climbing, we speak about my obsession with ugly footwear and gifting them to my pals (I purchased her a pink pair), our love of canine, and our companions.
Once I ask her to inform me her story for this piece, she factors out her companion Vian Charbonneau, who was together with her as she accomplished the final puzzle within the movie. It was as bodily demanding because it was emotional as she climbed by means of the scene the place Nolan Smythe died on El Gigante in Mexico. Her feelings moved me, and at that second, she confirmed her superpower – that she may really feel every part, together with overwhelming unhappiness and concern, whereas persevering to get the job finished. That’s the place she turned a world champion in my eyes.
She talked about her mother, Andrea DiGiulian, and the way she belayed Sasha for hours on finish with out anticipating something in return. She aslo talks about administrators Ricki Stern and Anne Sundberg, supervising director Fernando Villena, and her climbing companion for Pico Cao Grande on the island of São Tomé within the Gulf of Guinea, Angela VanWiemeersch. Clearly, she didn’t want the main target to be on her anymore.
Sasha’s husband is an Emmy Award-winning government producer and director. He stars within the movie and is candid and relaxed throughout interviews. He helps carry the viewers alongside and provides a singular perception into Sasha’s motives and drive. He balances the movie and helps present her human aspect.
Streaming now on a wide range of on-line channels (Google it),“Right here to Climb” is an HBO sports activities documentary by Crimson Bull Media Home that chronicles skilled climber Sasha Diguilian’s journey from youngster prodigy to champion sport climber, specializing in her groundbreaking ascents and private struggles, together with overcoming a career-threatening hip harm. Directed by Ricki Stern and Anne Sundberg, the movie options breathtaking cinematography and explores themes of resilience, teamwork, and redefining success in a male-dominated sport.
