Why Mickey Mouse Hates Me – Unusual Tales from South Florida
There ain’t too many of us that acquired beef wit me, & the vast majority of them are simply fuckin loopy, however on the quick checklist of enemies the chief of the membership is…
M-I-C
Ok-E-Y
M-O-U-S-E
That’s proper, Mickey Mouse hates me. The explanations for this animosity are quite a few & might be outlined beneath… nevertheless, I wish to observe that I nonetheless preserve it was the Mouse that instigated this example… not me.
Chapter 1: Within the Starting
I used to be born in Sebastian Florida, about an hour away from Orlando & all of the theme parks. As a baby my household would frequent the parks because of the shut proximity.
I spent most of my time as a baby skateboarding & browsing wit my dad, which was dope. Sebastian is on the mainland & u gotta cross the bridge in Wabasso to get to the seaside. The closest seaside u can get to is Wabasso seaside & it was a recognized surf spot.
In some unspecified time in the future after I was a youngster Disney determined to construct a seaside resort proper subsequent to Wabasso seaside, which I used to be cool wit at first… herald vacationer & help the native economic system. However that optimism ended actual fast.
The resort had all these cabanas on the shore in entrance of the resort, & they began to harass the surfers cuz their visitor have been offended by the antics of the decrease center class surfer children. They tried to kick us out a number of instances, however all the pieces beneath the tide line is errrrbody’s property & u can’t personal the water. I turned so infuriated by the Disney resort safety continuously hassling me that I made a decision to do one thing.
Sooooo, on a Sunday at 4am I grabbed a wave, then climbed onto the primary constructing of the Disney resort (after having to leap a number of fences), & I spray painted Mickey sodomizing Goofy on the roof. I don’t know the precise dimensions, however I’d estimate it was about 10×10 ft.
The subsequent time I went there to surf, the Mickey squad approached me & requested if I knew something in regards to the graffiti on their roof. I smiled & mentioned, naw.
Incident 2: Nother Story, Nother Day
I used to be a junior in highschool on 9/11/01. I don’t wanna go right into a tangent bout that, nother story nother day, however after 9/11 everybody simply sheltered in place for a very long time. I labored at a retailer within the mall, & it was a ghost city. The one individuals there have been retailer staff. I believe the federal government even had some kinda Nationwide go store day cuz companies have been hurting… & that even prolonged all the best way to the gates of Disney. Shortly after 9/11 after they have been hurting for enterprise they did a particular supply for Florida residents. $5 admission with a Florida ID, & I consider on the time previous to 9/11 normal admission tickets have been round $75. Beneficiant low cost.
When introduced wit this distinctive alternative my associates & I made a decision we wanted to make the most of it… so we skipped faculty, drove to Disney at 8am, sat within the parking zone, consumed copious quantities of mushrooms & made our method to Dr. Seuss land which had only in the near past opened. My recollections of what occurred that day are unreliable at greatest, & equally all of my associates that have been accompanying me have hazy recollections of the occasions… however from the most effective I can inform I turned extraordinarily agitated that I couldn’t meet Gradual Joe Crow & was horrifying different company.
If u have been questioning. The magic kingdom does actually have a jail. I spent a couple of hours in prison-land the place I used to be query extensively by the toon squad… however fortunately even when I had been as much as one thing nefarious there was no method I may produce any string of phrases that was near intelligible, & I used to be ultimately let unfastened to reek my distinctive model of havoc upon the world as soon as once more. If u ever go to Disney I’d recommend skipping prison-land, in my expertise it’s by far the least magical place at Disney.
I don’t know if Disney acquired items from slave labor, however I do know lots of people which have labored at Disney. How snug do u assume it’s to face in an enormous costume go well with in 100 diploma warmth for minimal wage? How does it impact ur psychological well being to must take being kicked within the shin by an 8 y/o & simply smile & let it go? Certainly one of my greatest good friend’s older sister was Cinderella, I requested her what it was prefer to be a princess & she replied: horrific.
Mickey Mouse hates me, & the sensation is mutual. I don’t get Disney fandom. To me it represents all the pieces fallacious on this planet. Masks all the pieces with a smiley face to neglect in regards to the harsh pains of actuality. Like the actual fact somebody is nearly dying of warmth exhaustion & getting kicked within the leg by little children simply to amuse entitled brats.
Half 3: Mickey Mouse lastly had sufficient
I used to be visiting house from faculty & taking in as many spring coaching baseball video games as attainable. Whereas at a sport I got here throughout a gentleman that had a light-weight blue polo on that had the Disney emblem on it & his initials have been embroidered beneath the brand. I ask him the place he acquired it, & he mentioned the reward store on the Vero Disney resort. This instantly put unhealthy concepts in my head, which I’d later act upon.
I went to the Vero Disney resort reward store, I bought mentioned blue polo wit the Mickey emblem, & paid the additional charge to have customized embroidery which mentioned: “Sweat Store”. The mouse was not joyful.
Sorry, I do know I’m loopy, however that’s what makes me me
Closing:
Yo, fuck u Mickey Mouse, if u need beef deliver it. I’m the precise reverse of Disney. I’m actuality. I’m the reality u don’t need to face. I’m not escapism. I’m serving to people that don’t have the loot to flee from their tent beneath an overpass to go purchase into ur concept of actuality. I’m the anti-mouse
Wait in order that paragraph that’s repeated, there must be one other one in it’s place…
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