Josh Cullen of SB19 finds function by revisiting painful previous

“Misplaced & Discovered” cowl artwork with Josh Cullen of SB19 —SONY MUSIC PHILIPPINES

The trauma, the disappointment, the ache—Josh Cullen might have chosen to only maintain all of them to himself. That manner, he wouldn’t need to topic himself to the agony of revisiting them.

However as tough because it was to comb by his childhood recollections and profession hardships, he felt that placing them in an album might result in newfound classes, or on the very least, assist him make sense of the items of his previous that slip by the cracks once in a while.

From these previous wounds arose “Misplaced & Discovered” (Sony Music Philippines), Josh’s debut solo album that charts his journey towards redemption and internal fact amid the sense of loss that had lengthy pervaded his life.

“I’m tremendous happy that individuals will lastly get to listen to my tales. The rationale I mustered the braveness to share them is as a result of I would like folks to consider in themselves, too. For me, this was an enormous transfer,” the singer-songwriter and SB19 member instructed the Inquirer in a one-on-one interview.

The angst and frustration is straight away palpable within the opening monitor, “1999,” whose guttural, staccato-like refrain had Josh sounding like he was singing by gritted tooth.

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The monitor units the tone for the remainder of the album. Whereas higher often known as a rapper in SB19, “Misplaced & Discovered” marks Josh’s reconnection to his rock, emo and pop-punk roots.

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The 30-year-old knew that confronting the previous could be the toughest a part of the artistic course of. The truth is, he thought he would solely have the ability to give you one track. However earlier than he knew it, he had unwittingly opened the floodgates.

“Once I keep in mind the trauma, the experiences, the struggles … the songs began to come back out naturally. And whereas I used to be doing the music and lyrics, I believed, ‘OK, so that is what the method is like,’” Josh associated. “Writing got here straightforward, however dealing with my feelings initially was something however.”

What was it like revisiting previous traumas?

It’s like, right here’s my story, but it surely’s all jumbled. I keep in mind the traumas, I simply didn’t know the place to put them.

This album gave me a template of kinds. I laid all of the recollections out one after the other. And now, I can revisit them any time I would like. Every track pertains to particular experiences and triggers sure flashbacks.

Some are glad, some are unhappy. However the vital factor is that I used to be capable of create one thing out of my experiences. Nothing will beat songs like that. Authenticity is all the things.

Josh Cullen —CONTRIBUTED Picture

Take us by the album’s artistic course of.

All of it got here collectively shortly. It took me most likely a month.

The creatives and I brainstormed: “How ought to I outline my album? What’s essentially the most attention-grabbing factor about me that I can share with everybody?” I couldn’t give you something however my story.

The struggles, the ache, the whole lot of me; I consider that’s one in all a sort. It was arduous. Individuals fearful about me as a result of I used to be weak in the course of the course of. They’d ask me, “Kakayanin mo ba talaga?”

So all 9 songs had been written in a month?

I don’t understand how I did it, to be sincere. To start with, I barely slept. The folks round me know that. I’ll work in the course of the day, document at evening, write … all the things. I’d sleep for one to 2 hours. I used to be getting sick—all that, halo-halo na.

Really, whereas I used to be recording “1999,” I had a extremely dangerous chilly. My voice was hoarse. I suppose that’s one of many causes the grit and anger got here out. I used to be annoyed as a result of it needed to occur whereas I used to be recording, and I used to be fearful I wasn’t going to complete the album.

Some folks had been stunned with the shift from hip-hop/city to extra melodic alt-rock. There’s additionally some emo and pop-punk in there.

We simply assign genres to songs so we are able to categorize them. However for me, there are not any boundaries. As a part of a pop group, I principally rap and I’m actually heavy on hip-hop. However I like all kinds of music. I’m the kind of one who has extra likes than dislikes. I’m very open. Once I hear one thing new, my first response isn’t, “I don’t like that.”

I’m at a spot the place I really feel like music shouldn’t have any limits. However yeah, other than punk-rock, I included extremely pop, which isn’t as fashionable right here within the Philippines. Components of digital dance music are additionally there.

I suppose I simply need to strive issues that aren’t common. That’s what provides me satisfaction, having the ability to do what I need to do as an artist.

Did you already know beforehand that this was going to be the sound?

Not completely. I had concepts, however there have been some issues that got here up on the spot. For some songs, it was solely after I heard them in full that I noticed that I ought to do that or that. The songs normally undergo totally different phases of evolution.

The emo affect actually shines in “Silent Cries,” “Trustworthy” and “No Management.” Are you a fan of the style?

Oo naman! Emo and pop-punk had been fashionable again within the day, so there actually was no escaping them. Personally, I’m an excellent fan of The Crimson Jumpsuit Equipment, My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy and Paramore.

These had been my important influences earlier than I acquired into hip-hop. So this isn’t new to me. I can truly say that, in a manner, it’s extra of my dwelling in comparison with rap.

However did you additionally undergo the entire emo look, the style?

I’d say, sure, pero ‘di naman todo-todo! Are you aware the anime “Demise Notice”? My hair inspiration was Mild Yagami (the primary protagonist).

What was in your playlist whilst you had been engaged on the album?

I had no time to hearken to anything. I couldn’t afford to waste time. I used to be considering of melodies and lyrics at any given time. I used to be centered on what I used to be engaged on.

Why was there a lot urgency?

I had a deadline. It was mission not possible, if you consider it. The folks I labored with requested, “Are you severe?” And I’d be like, “I’m severe!” They thought what I used to be attempting to perform was too formidable. But it surely labored. I used to be persistent. Once I need one thing to occur, I’ll make it occur.

So how does it really feel now that the album is lastly out. What’s being a solo artist like for you?

Once I see that individuals relate to the music, once I hear that it provides them motivation and inspiration, that actually fuels me. It makes me suppose that I’m entering into the proper path.

I’m not doing this simply to flex or magyabang. I do suppose that I’ve a function… And studying folks’s feedback about my album, I used to be touched. Naiiyak talaga ako.